Before leaving for the USA I had a loose plan that I wasn't planning on changing. I was due to head out of the Rancho Murieta show on the Sunday, hitching a lift for myself and Whisper back down the highway 12 hours to San Diego where I was to be based with Steffen Peters. However while I was at Murieta I met many nice people from the San Francisco area. Everyone I met was soon enthralled with the story of the girl from a surf town in New Zealand, who had flown across the globe alone, all for the chance of riding for her nation.

And so it was. I decided to reinvent my journey, one week after leaving Melbourne - and base myself in Northern California. I was more than lucky to have ex-Pat Kiwi Sarah Joynt take me under her wing and look after me for a few days - her generosity and kindness in my time of distress will certainly never be forgotten and a lifelong friendship was formed. Sarah made me watch the movie The World Fastest Indian, and I laughed and cried with her at how much my life was running parallel to that of Burt Munro when he first set off to conquer the world. Kiwi's can do anything!

A second ex-pat kiwi was then to play a big role in my journey. Enter Todd Gregory the ex Waikato show jumper who lives in the delightful city of Walnut Creek with his partner Lise Quintero and their business partner John DuCharm. These guys put me up - and put up with me - in their house for the next eight weeks or so. Todd and Lise were up jumping at Spruce Meadows for the first 20 days I was there, but they left a car with the keys in it and a house that was never locked - I could come and go as I please. These guys took hospitality to a new level and I will miss the laughs and the BBQ's not to mention Roots the cat and Tui the three legged bull terrier.

Whisper went to live at his new digs - Yarra Yarra Ranch - named after the Yarrra River in Melbourne. This is one of Northern California's premier dressage barns, and I was grateful for not only the great surfaces and stabling, but also for the brilliant vet Dianne Isbell and the resident trainer Dirk Glitz. Dirk hails from Germany and moved to the USA with his wonderful wife Katrin, who also rides and trains. Dirk spent many years in his homeland training under such greats as Rehbein and Hinneman. When I watched Dirk ride at Murieta I knew instantly his training style and friendly nature would appeal to both Whisper and myself.

There were many great personalities at YarraYarra - it sure was different to running your own establishment in Raglan! Two people I became really close to were Nicole Aloan and Lucy Voelk - both these girls were from the East Coast of USA and I enjoyed their company immensely. I even got to compete Lucy's wonderful big horse Winn at an event - two wins from two at level two (NZ Elementary). I also enjoyed helping them train their horses using Andrew McLean's techniques and both horses showed dramatic improvements.

My focus was then put towards finding a show that ESNZ would approve so I could get my mark needed for WEG. I suggested another three shows which all had an FEI "I" judge at them, and these shows would have been of a higher standard than Murieta in terms of the atmosphere and competition. Unfortunately many of the emails I sent to ESNZ remained unanswered by them for over a week at a time. It was so frustrating to be stuck in a foreign country desperately trying to get questions answered and plan a campaign, and not even having receipt of your emails acknowledged let alone answered. I was finally told that they would require now 2 FEI judges for the marks to count, not one which was the case at Murieta and Christchurch which was another qualifying show many months earlier. My next request was that if I was to get a second FEI judge to be on the class at a show in California - would that be able to be counted. Again there was a wait of over a week and finally the reply came back that no, that wouldn't be accepted either. My only choice was to go to New York to the big CDI running just weeks before the WEG, and try for a score there.

Anyone who has been to America, and flown or driven across it will know that America is BIG. Nobody I spoke to in California would ever contemplate shipping their horse to New York for one GP test. It's either a $5,000 US one way air travel or 6000 miles by transporter - thru desserts, mountains, hail storms and the like. It is an incredibly taxing journey on the horses, and not one to ever be taken lightly. I knew in my heart that the trip to New York would not be in the best interests of the horse, and I couldn't see the reasoning why this should happen when there were plenty of GP tests here in California where I could be with a newly found support crew, trainer etc, instead of trying to resettle the stallion on the other side of the USA and be alone again.

I entered several shows in California, and was pleased with Whisper and how he was progressing. In comparison to the showjumpers though, I kept watching the progress of the likes of Maurice and Katie up in North America - they could pull $20,000 for a fourth, and I came home with just a rosette for winning a GP test. The differences between the two sports were immense!

I was finally given another lifeline from the ESNZ, a show in Colorado would now be allowed. Unfortunately I was told of its availability less than two weeks before I would need to leave to get there. These events have been shown on the FEI calendar for a year or so, and it was frustrating not being told they would accept them until the very last possible moment. I was desperate to go, and set about finding a trailer, truck and driver to get Whisper and me to Estes Park. Unfortunately though a new injury flared up from a twisted fetlock in the field, and it was a race against time to get him right. Every night I stayed at the barn with the vets and we did our utmost to get him right in time...

Unfortunately flights back to NZ only leave every 6 weeks or so, and there was one quarantine starting on the very weekend that the Colorado Show at Estes Park was being run. I needed to make a very big decision - to stay on and compete at Colorado - or catch the flight home. If we waited for another flight it would have been after the WEG, and I would need enough funds to keep the horse going in that time. He would also miss much of the stud season back in NZ and this financially would prove difficult. If only the show in Colorado was a week earlier or the flight was a week later I could have put everything into a final fling to get to the WEG and been on a flight home if it didn't work out.

Estes Park in Colorado is 7500 feet above sea level and the horses need to be very fit to compete well there. Whisper had missed quite a bit of work whilst his leg was recovering, and I needed to weigh up whether I believed we could manage a world class performance in the high altitude of Colorado. At least it was only a 22 hour truck ride to get there - much closer than New York. The last few days of making my decision were very stressful and heart wrenching. On one hand I didn't want to give up on my dream of riding for NZ at WEG, but on the other hand, horse welfare, fitness and finances had to come into play. The final straw for me was reading the ESNZ Annual reports where Dressage NZ reported that although they didn't have any riders going to the WEG, they would like to wish other disciplines with riders trying to qualify all the very best of luck. This was more than a kick in the stomach - after spending a lifetime of savings to put myself and my horse on the line in a foreign country and give it a final shot - to not even be acknowledged for it, and then written off entirely felt like my country had turned its back on me completely. I knew where I stood and I certainly knew where DNZ seemed to stand.

I spent several more sleepless nights working out what was best for myself and my wonderful horse - to travel to Colorado and brave the conditions with a rather under-prepared horse, then wait 7 more weeks for a flight out if things didn't go to plan, or cut my losses and bring him home. In the end that is what I decided to do, and with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes I put Whisper on a transporter to Kentucky (ironically where he would have to quarantine to get home to NZ) and as I kissed him goodbye I also kissed goodbye to the hopes and dreams I had held since my Pony Club days - and contemplated whether I would ever have the strength to wait another four years to attempt to ride for NZ again.

I sent an email back to ESNZ and Dressage NZ to inform them of my decision, and this time a prompt reply came from both the sport manager and high performance manager of DNZ expressing their disappointment and comfort. There was however, no reply from ESNZ, no thanks for trying, no support or kindness offered. Nothing...